Simple Ways I Calm My Mind During Stressful Times
This Week Was Overwhelming for Me
I was trying to set up my classroom, working late hours, trying to keep on top of my cleaning schedule, while showing up for my husband and family when they needed me. My phone kept ringing and I found myself saying yes to more things. Each day was a rush— full of pressure, tension, and worry.
And honestly? That’s just life sometimes.
Stress Isn't Something to Be Ashamed Of
Things come up. Commitments stack. We get swept into a current of busyness, white-knuckling our way through the week, hoping we don’t drop a ball. It’s part of being human. But somewhere along the way, I think we’ve been taught that stress is something to be ashamed of — a sign that we’re doing something wrong.
The world seems to praise people who are effortlessly composed, always thriving, never flustered. But real life isn’t always like that. Stress is a natural response to responsibility, change, and pressure. And if you’re juggling work, home, relationships, finances, and your own inner world — of course you’re going to feel it sometimes.
Unless you’re living your dream life in a quiet cottage with no bills, no deadlines, and someone else cooking your meals (and if you are, please invite me over), stress is going to be part of your story. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you alive.
Softness Isn't the Absence of Stress
For a while, I felt guilty for feeling stressed — like I was failing at the “soft life” I’m trying to cultivate. But softness isn’t the absence of stress. It’s the response to it.
When I’m not intentional, stress starts to control me. I push through meals. I ignore my husband. I keep working, even after the workday is over, because I’m afraid I’ll fall behind. But I don’t want to live like that. I want to honor the fullness of life — including the stress — while still choosing peace.
5 Simple Things That Help Me Feel Calm
1. Taking three deep breaths and repeating "I am at home."
This is my way of telling my nervous system, You’re safe now. You can let go. The deep breathing calms my body, and the words help my mind stop spiraling through my mental to-do list. It’s a gentle way to remind myself that the workday is over.
2. Taking a slow shower and gently massaging my scalp.
Instead of rushing through, I try to be present with the water — letting it wash over me, breathing in the steam, and feeling my fingertips as I massage my scalp. Ultimately, I’d love to make this a cozier time with candles, soft lighting, and gentle music, but I’m realistic. Some of those touches will have to wait for a different season in my life. Even without them, focusing on caring for myself helps me unwind and shift my thoughts away from work.
3. Wiping down the counters.
It sounds so simple, but it works. It gives me a small win — a sense of accomplishment and control. It also transitions me into “home” mode without feeling like I’m diving into a huge cleaning task. Just a cloth, a few swipes, and I feel like I’ve done something. Plus, it makes it easier to relax at night because I’m not feeling guilty about letting everything go.
4. Doing something that brings me joy --- like listening to slow K-pop love songs.
Lately, this has been my go-to. I put on a playlist and just let myself enjoy it. Sometimes I sway. Sometimes I hum along while making dinner. It’s not about being productive — it’s about reconnecting with the parts of me that feel alive and lighthearted.
5. Stepping outside for a moment of stillness.
Even if it’s just for 30 seconds, I’ll step onto the porch or stand by the window and take in the sky, the trees, the wind. Seeing the world winding down helps me feel like I can wind down too. That little pause reminds me the world is bigger than my stress — and that beauty is still happening all around me.
Find What Works for You
You don’t have to copy these exactly — or at all. What matters is finding your own rituals. The things that help you pause, breathe, and feel like yourself again.
We can’t avoid stress entirely. But we can create gentle rhythms that remind us we’re more than what’s on our plate. Life may be loud sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we have to match the volume.
Take a breath. Light a candle. Listen to something beautiful. Wipe one counter. And then move forward with softness.
You’re doing better than you think.
Let's Chat
What are some little things you do that help you feel calm during stressful seasons? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
